Guest-post by Bettina Perroni.
Camille Stein is asking about the status of the puzzle I am trying to solve. My answer: "The same"
Sometimes I need direction, a guide. Someone to take me by the hand and lead me in those moments when my decisions clash with the question: Is it the right time?.
Today, after a long time and while I was driving to the office, I look at the sky. Yes, long time that I did not ask for his help. I was ashamed. Long time that I did not talk to "him", that I did not request his support. I don't know if I avoid him accidentally or just because I forgot him… according to me, I just needed time to understand, to accept?
Today I realized that I miss "Him" a lot… that to be far away from Him was not good… especially now when I am feeling alone, vulnerable to certain circumstances… then a ray of sun light appears and touch something in my soul that I cannot describe.
I do not know why my feelings run in cycles like this, when I have a terrible need to do something important. An innate need, like an impulsive and sudden wish… something like an extraordinary strong that inspire me to do it. I am not worry when I have a clear idea of my objectives but in moments like this when I am confused… I get hopeless, I get broken.
Sometimes I wonder if someday I'll tire. Perhaps this desire of mine to consider every little thing as an important issue, make space for it, giving life to an idea,to transform and make real that almost impossible dream. That is the point. I don't believe in impossible things, my mind was worked to believe that everything is possible if I work and concentrate my effort to my goals.
Today, when I saw that sun light I just thought: "HELP ME"… and unconsciously I started to work on my goals and I felt better. I sat down but then my thoughts turned to the extreme and I found few questions to myself: what about that "other" pending item?, do I have to postpone it?...was not that subject my priority?
God I need your help tonight!
"Allow that my eyes can clearly identify a signal; allow that my feet find the right path, that my hands work and mold the image of my dreams, allow that my free will decides cleverly, and my mind… please work on my mind… touch it, bring me light and make it ready to perform your work, your plan of perfect design. Thank you"
"Deja que mis ojos identifiquen la señal, que mis pies encuentren el camino correcto, que mis manos fabriquen… moldéen a imágen y semejanza de mis sueños, que mi poder de elección decida sabiamente y mi mente… si mi mente... dale luz, púlela, prepárala para entonces realizar tu obra, tu plan de diseño perfecto. Gracias"
Después de todo, creo que mi vida siempre será azul.